Once while dating online Man with a plan, I was asked lots of questions. Few earlier posts (2in1 and 3in1, menage a trois, the second guy in bed ) and the rest with a tag Man with a plan will help you to put pieces to puzzle. Not complete yet.
So he almost persuaded me to accept a challenge for occasional threesomes with his son. It took me some time time to get used to the idea, which actually was interesting to try. At least once. If I was able to create any meaningful relationship with Man with a plan. And why not to try?
As my friend once said:
Three is the right number:
A table with one leg is unstable
A table with two legs is unstable too
A table with three legs is always stable and it adapts to any irregular floor.
A table with four legs is stable but if the floor is not perfect, then the table will move
Conclusion: Perfect stability comes with three 😉
Man with a plan had a lot questions when we were chatting online before meeting. Almost every day, few hours or longer per day. Questions about sex, dating, picking mushrooms, swimming in a lake, liking of ironing, a lot questions from OKC repertoire, and dozens more. He mentioned once he had professional deformation after work for several years in auditing security systems. He used to say “I can ask ten questions, but it might be that really important answer is only one in this batch”.
I actually liked answering. It was like a food for thought – I had to express dislikes ( I hate ironing), my likes ( on cooking or traveling), statements ( no at all interested in threesome 2F1M), ideas (separate bedrooms or not), but in some cases questions let me go deeper and express my insights about certain topics and organize my thoughts into opinions.
On the other hand, I don’t like asking questions, I would rather listen to stories. According to my understanding – asking questions is often not only a way to get another person’s opinion or clarification of the situation, but as well a polite way to corner them. Words are only words. If you answer your questions honestly, it doesn’t mean another side does the same. There are facts and stories. If I were in the same situation now, I would ask more questions. My love of listening to stories lets another side to create them on the go….
Him: One person can be in love with two at the same time – real love, but in different ways and equally strong – true or false?
Him: to be faithful – body part – is a must for good relationship – true or false?
Me: Not always true.
Him: If in a stable relationship – how many adventures or ONS would you like to have allowed per year?
Me: I don’t want to be allowed. I want NOT TO NEED them
Him: Even in the best relationship there are needs, especially for women at our age. Men are anyhow slowly dying in that better part of the body 🙂
Me: The needs of women are different.
Him: but there are needs and that is why I am asking how many ONS outside the relationship you need to be allowed
Me: The quality of sexual contact counts more , than quantity.
I think, that you can’t say – I need X amount of sexual intercourse per year. If only X amount makes couple happy, that’s enough.
Him: so, once a month and all will be ok? 🙂
Me: no. It’s just more about the situation you are in, and how you can use the situation. If there is no one, who you want, cheep replacements do not work, despite allowed. As I said, being single, as well as being picky in choosing partner for sex, is my choice. Everyone has a choice. The whole life is the sum of our choices, sexual as well:)
…So in addition to threesome with his son, who is about my daughter’s age, there were some extras offered for me – just for fun – pure sex without any strings attached outside the relationship. Occasionally. To feel excitement and novelty… With only one rule – no hiding /confession about it. It was a real turn-on for him to talk about my sexual encounters online and in reality, discussing all possible scenarios before and after he came up with the offer . We had a nice time talking in bed when met in real life about designing a coupons and printing them out. It’s was fun to fantasize how they can look like design wise and what check-boxes should be there to have unified and clear accounting… I just imagined the secret life of the Coupon Queen – exciting!
I understood father’s concerns about sex at his age even before we actually had sex with him. No juicy details, dear reader, just dry evaluation.
It was not best sex ever. It was not good either. It was unremarkable. In addition it was the lack of intimacy or emotional compatibility, but that’s another thing to talk about. During three days and nights in a row he was not up to much (pun intended) and hydraulic problems I faced in sex department will get even worse in the future, so calls for a plumber paid with coupons to clean my pipes seemed unavoidable even in early stage of connection.
So maybe ménage à trois with enough yearly coupons to cut is the best way to escape sexual boredom in a relationship? Some people think of this as inevitable, others that it’s the sign of an incompatible match, or a lack of imagination. I will not be very original putting here wise explanation of reasons of boredom in relationship by Dr. Schnarch : “sexual relationships always consist of leftovers”. And explanation is pretty clear: you decide what you don’t want to do; your partner decides what he or she doesn’t want to do; and “the two of you do whatever is left over”…So going wild (officially) you can get something you always craved for and never got in relationship…
It was exciting to think about whole concept to have in real life. To try it. It never happened, but despite that it haven’t lost its attractiveness. How to live now? 🙂