Lack of mind blowing ideas…

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My unemployment is great. Relaxed. Lazy days in and sleepless nights.   At the lake or in town. Reading and  writing.
Looking for and not finding…

Every day I spend at least an hour in total thinking about my  professional future. I don’t want to be invisible professionally.  I have enough experience to share and still plenty things to learn. I have lots of  passions  and hobbies, that blows my mind – I can be  a florist, I can work   in a bookstore, shoes or handbags boutique, I can go back to TV or radio station. I will never ever get a job there. I am over qualified:)  The idea should take me completely and then I will start …

I am not an executor type – since I have an idea and I  create a workflow for its execution, I don’t want to do things myself. It’s not fascinating for me. So I  almost never open the book our company published – what for? To look for mistakes? No sense. Too late. To see if it looks OK? I already know that. To be proud of the result? Why?- I developed  the idea, enjoyed  the process, that’s enough for me. I just know, that most effective and creative I am when not in regular situations, not at my working desk. In airport, bathroom, when traveling abroad, on holidays wherever- in a village, cabin in the woods or at the warm sea…

I always thought it was somehow connected with my attitude and my addictions. No, I don’t think I am adrenaline addict.  My driving as well as other behavior is not extreme, I never had any need for speed or anything  else that is risky, since my daughter was born. Being single mum since she was 4, made me much more careful than I would  loved to.

So clearly risk. that have certain mechanical tools – cars, motorbikes, planes etc involved – is not my cup of tea…Sometimes life just put you into  risky situations. More than twenty years ago I had to work in real war situation.  We were working  (and smoking!) near bottles of Molotov cocktails, lots of guns were nearby  and we were among really handsome young state security guys, as well as a sea of soldiers, so the fear and risk was well hidden in subconscious but  pumping  adrenaline into the blood, so weeks were decorated  with short flings in unexpected set of circumstances.
The risks I do take are more interpersonal and giving food for brain than physical excitement at the very moment. It’s more the attraction to unpredictable, indefinite situations and pushing the boundaries or going with the flow. But that probably just way of living, not any risk, despite my friends used to say “How dare you do that?” I am not very good at reading people, but I can always trust my gut feelings, just sometimes I forget about them. I am pretty good at putting myself in the situations I’ve never been before, with people I never met before, or in places I’ve never been to. I travelled with people I never met before, did lot hitchhiking, and that was not always safe for a girl. And I am not talking about sex with strangers around the corner in the dark street of the town I’ve just started to explore.

Should I do something crazy and absolutely wrong, go far away  to get new inspirations?

What stimulates your creativity? Addictions, regular life, infatuation, sex,  talks with strangers or chats with friends? How to be creative? How to release this creative energy which is locked inside?

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